Our wedding day is one of the most important days of our lives. We want everything to go perfectly, but we also realize that life is full of unexpected twists and turns.
The woman in the following story experienced a particular twist when it came to her wedding and it is something nobody should ever have to go through. She tried to make it work, but it still blew up in her face.
Read on to find out her story and then some suggestions we have on how she can make it better.
Apologize
The first thing she should do is apologize to her stepfather. He was there for her during both the good times and the bad times, and she made a poor decision. A sincere apology can open the door to healing and help make things better.
Create an Event
You can never get the original wedding back, but there are plenty of ways to create a meaningful event that can be special for both of you. It doesn’t have to be centered around him—just make sure he is invited and included as a participant.
Some healing may need to happen before this, but taking that step can go a long way toward easing the pain and rebuilding the relationship.
Get Some Help
When a relationship reaches this point, seeking professional help can be necessary. There are many counselors who specialize in helping families navigate stressful and emotional situations like this.
As long as her stepfather is willing to take part in counseling sessions, they can be extremely helpful in working through the issues and setting the foundation for a lifelong, healthy relationship.
My stepdad, Tim, raised me since I was 8, as my dad was often away for work. My dad always hated Tim. Mom tried to cool things between them, even until she passed away last year.
For my wedding, I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. My dad agreed and said that he would even pay all the expenses, but he had one condition: Tim can’t attend the ceremony.
I was shattered because I love my stepdad. But as I had lost my mom, I wanted at least my dad to be present, so I had no other choice but to tell Tim not to come. He agreed and didn’t say another word.
On the big day, as dad was walking me down the aisle, Tim left the country and wrote me a letter. I was shocked to find it a few days later and couldn’t stop crying as I read it.
In it, he explained how much he loved me and my mom and how he dreamed of seeing me on my wedding day.
He said he never expected that I would deny him that right. He declared, “There is one last thing you should know: the real parent is not the one who gives you money and shows up whenever they want, it’s the person who holds your hand and mends your sorrows as you grow up.”
In the last sentence, he added, “I want you to know that I still love you very much, but since you didn’t fight for me to witness your big day, then maybe we shouldn’t be in each other’s lives at all.”
My world crumbled as I read these words. Tim has raised me, and I don’t want him out of my life, but I think what I did hurt him so much that there is no going back.
How can I fix this?
Best,
Lynn